Wedding Spending: What Couples Pay and Why Costs Vary

so the wedding will be a monday, they’re telling people to come in on sunday & leave wednesday. $250 covers the air bnb, food, and drink for the entire stay. you pay the $250 regardless of when you come or leave. the air bnb is also the venue and reception. they’re requesting no gifts, but rather a contribution to their honey moon.

i know the bride, the groom and the bride’s parents. me and my partner would have to stay on an air mattress in a room with other guests occupying the bunk beds.

did i mention i’m suppose to be the “maid of honor?” i use the term loosely because upon telling me she was engaged and getting married, they could only afford a small wedding and would only be inviting immediate family. then it changed to they could afford to invite a few friends, but only his friends. then they suddenly could afford to invite me and my partner (they uninvited one of his couple friends). that’s when i got the “will you be my bridesmaid” gift.

oh, also, there’s a dress code. semi-casual but no burgundy, no white, no light or dark blue jeans.

*editing to add, there’s about 5 others bedrooms with single queen beds, none of which are reserved for me.

Have you bought your house yet?

Everytime I hear this annoying comment from someone they haven’t had a wedding NOR have bought a house. I have only seen one couple (who never made this comment) have a simple backyard celebration and have actually bought a house a year later.

Edit: Wow this blew up! I didn’t mean to offend anyone btw and I actually liked reading your stories about how you guys had a small wedding then bought a house/had an amazing honeymoon. Or bought a house and had a big backyard celebration after. That sounds super fun! But this was more directed at people who ask me about wedding planning then throw this at me as if me and my fiancé are wasting our money. They say it in a condescending way. I get everyone has different financial goals and priorities but I think it’s rude to say this with the tone of “omg that much!? Hmph! I’d rather spend it on a house”

I had a low cost wedding because we were saving for a house. We ended up buying a house 4 months after our wedding.

The reality is people who can afford a big and expensive wedding are also more likely to be able to afford a house on top of that

To answer your question: yes, I have. I spent $30k on my house down payment and $8k on my wedding.

BUT I think the point people are making is that if they had $30k-$40k to spend on something, they would rather spend it on a down payment for a house than a wedding. And I 100% agree with them.

ETA yall the $30k was for 6% down 🤣 we used the first time home buyer’s program through our credit union

The average in the US is somewhere around 30k but this figure is almost useless as it depends massively on where you’re located, how many guests and what you’re actually doing. Anyone can host 20 people in a church basement for cake and punch for a couple hundred bucks. A plated dinner with a band and high end photography for 200 people in a HCOL area is going to start at 50k+. 

The best way to know what is “normal” is to get multiple quotes from vendors in your area. 

I am just wondering with the price of everything rising and money being tight for everyone how much on average of what you spent on the wedding was actually paid back by gifts from guests?

Are people actually still paying enough to cover the cost of attending?

This isn't ment to shame any guests who pay below average, or anything like that. Times are tough and you shouldn't have to go into debt for some stranger getting married. I am all in favor or attend if invited and pay what you can.

Personally I think the days of weddings paying for themselves and possibly some or all of a downpayment of a house or for a honeymoon is long past. But I am curious about how far from that we have gotten as a culture.

So what has been your experience?

10% paid back? 25% 50% 75% 100% + Honeymoon ???

I’ve always a wedding, but now that I’m planning one, I’m getting cold feet. We’re looking at spending close to $30,000 usd for our day, but this doesn’t even include extras like the bachelorette, rehearsal dinner, bachelorette proposal boxes, outfits for parties and engagement photoshoot, etc

I know that it’s a special day but is it really worth it when this could be a downpayment? Even if we got money from family or in the form of gifts, the idea of $50k+ was spent in 5.5 hours is a little jarring to me.

I know the answer really depends on everyone and what’s important to you, but gosh I don’t know. I feel like I’ll regret if I do or regret if I don’t. If you already had your wedding, overall, do you regret spending what you spent for your special day?

So recently i got back from my first of many weddings and my GODS when i asked my cosuin how much it all costed? She said “oh $120k + the additional $60K for photos” like girl…Mrs. Ma’am….

THATS A HOUSE, A CAR DOWNPAYMENT , THATS ENOUGH CHEESEBURGERS TO FIT A SMALL PORTION OF A STADIUM!!!’ Whyyy WHYYYY??

LIke i understand its her big day but JUMPING AND GYRATIN JESUS CHRIST ON A CRACKER , ALMOST $180-190 TOPS??? And i didn’t even wanna know how much catering costed, we had lobsters, steak, fancy fish eggs and stuff. Oh and the wines..Dear God THE WINES!!!

If i ever get married, im gonna make a promise it wont be so goddamn expensive wtf?? 😭😭

Hi everyone! I’m recently engaged and starting to figure out wedding budgeting. I’d love to see some real-life examples to help set expectations.

If you’re comfortable sharing: • Location (city/state or country) • Venue • Month and year • Guest count • Approximate total cost

I know pricing varies a lot by location, season, and year, so this is just to get a realistic perspective. Thank you so much, I really appreciate it!

Curious how you decided how much to spend on your wedding, how much you ultimately spent, and what % of your net worth (or income) it is/was.

I feel really lost in terms of deciding how much to spend on a wedding, even if we easily have the money. On the one hand, it feels irresponsible to spend $$$$ on one weekend. On the other hand, this is a once in a lifetime event, it would be so meaningful to have everyone we love in one place, and we want people to have a fabulous time.

There isn’t really a norm in our social circle and family. People we love have done everything from backyard weddings that probably cost less than $2k (which were meaningful and lovely) to $$$$ weddings (which were also lovely in a different way).

The place we hope to get married will be very expensive (it’s extremely meaningful to us personally). Trying to decide whether to do it, and how far to go. We would not be trading off on other priorities (buying a house, financial security for children) but it still seems crazy to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on a wedding.

I would never ask the people in my life their net worth/income/family money/wedding cost, but I’m hoping getting some anonymous sampling from you ladies can help us decide so we feel less crazy either way.

Edit: absolutely no shade to people who have had very expensive weddings - I’ve been as a guest and LOVED it. We’re trying to decide if it’s right for us, and I’d love to hear how others thought about it :)

I'm having a hard time justifying spending $30k+ on getting married. How much did you spend on your wedding? What was your income at the time? Was it worth it or would you have preferred to spend it differently?

Better hope they don't get divorced

We ended up spending about $60k and saved for about 3 years. No wedding debt. We looked at what we could save each month before we got engaged and based it around that and making a timeline. Don’t go into debt for your wedding!

I’m going to say the quote part out loud but I have no idea what “normal” is or if I’m being completely ripped off. I feel like people have a wedding for $500 and others for $500k… now I know “normal” doesn’t exist but what would a full wedding and reception with catering and a band that isn’t SO extravagant cost in 2026? What should I expect or prepare for?

My story is going to be very very privileged. But I acknowledge our privilege.

My partner and I spent 150k on our wedding. It was 165 people in a very expensive area, and we basically had a stereotypical non luxury but “nice” wedding you see on Instagram.

We are currently 28. We’ve been working since we were 22. Our yearly income started out at 300k combined. It is now closer to 700k. We don’t come from generational wealth but our parents are both retired upper middle class.

We live a very frugal life, so our living expenses are low. We didn’t save for the wedding in particular, but our savings rate has always been high, over 50% of our income. Honestly we didn’t even notice the vendor payments they came in increments, and our salary covered most of it. They were usually less than 10k a payment.

We fronted the wedding costs, but our parents offered to split it with us 3 ways. They each gave us 50k after the wedding. And they insisted on doing this because we were the only children on both sides having a large wedding and they were so excited.

And we ended up getting 50k in cash gifts (common in my culture).

Ended up net neutral.

I think if you’re looking at 150 people in a MCOL to HCOL metro (Chicago, DC, Austin, Miami, etc.) and you want the standard ceremony, happy hour, dinner then you’re probably looking at $50-60k on the basic end. If you’re in the VHCOL area (NYC, LA) you’re looking at $100k for the same basic wedding. Most of the weddings that blow up on Instagram and Pinterest are in the $200k plus range.

We're spending about 22k and it feels like we're pinching pennies in a lot of categories. A live band is going to be significantly more expensive than a DJ.

Jesus Christ. I spent probably $15-20k on my wedding and that felt OUTRAGEOUS at the time.

I cannot fathom spending $120k on a one-day event when I didn’t even spend a quarter of that on three college degrees.

I’m neither engaged nor married but my best friend is getting married soon and I’ll be in the wedding! I’ve been hearing from her about the planning and I’m just genuinely curious how people can afford to spend 50-100k on a wedding!?

Absolutely no judgement on how much / little you paid or who’s paying (honestly bonus points to anyone who paid over 100k and is willing to share how)! Just genuinely curious!!

Budget is around $25-32k (still waiting to find out how much is included with our venue since they just got new owners). 

My mom is pitching in quite a bit. But fiancé and I are also quite a bit older than is typical for a (first) wedding (it is my first but not his), so our salaries are not what they were in our 20s and we’ve been able to save quite a bit over the past couple of years. We’re also quite frugal in general (I even got a secondhand wedding dress!), so we have a solid “rainy day” fund. We also both own our homes already so we don’t feel guilty spending savings on a wedding. To some, it’s a party and “just one day” and I used to feel that way too. But as we’ve gotten older, we realize there are so few opportunities to have all your people in one place for a happy celebration - the other reason is funerals typically, so we’re embracing it as a once in a lifetime celebration to savor and honor the incredible community we’ve built. And that feels well worth $30k. 

That’s crazy. I got married (aka papers got signed) in a mall parking lot and then we went and rode bikes by the river lol.