Tips for New Parents from Experienced Parents

You don’t have to make a happy baby happier. So, if they’re happy playing with a wooden spoon for 10 minutes, leave them alone!

Buy the newborn clothes. Everyone told me I didn’t need to buy newborn sized clothing so I didn’t. My baby was only 6 pounds and all of the 0-3m clothes I bought were way too big. I ended up having to go out and buy clothes after we came home from the hospital which is the last thing I wanted to do. My baby ended up wearing newborn size for 3 months. So I would recommend buying newborn clothes despite what people say.

At my baby shower, my mom's friend laid some wisdom on me. She said that if you have to neglect something, neglect your house. Not yourself, your baby, your partner, your job. Your house. The dishes, the floors, the laundry, it'll all still be there later.

As someone who had no intention of having a c-section but had an emergency one, do a little reading up on the recovery and pain, just so you’re not completely blindsided like I was (hopefully won’t be a worry for you!)

My kid is 8 months old now, and I built up a Google doc of product advice for a pregnant friend. At the end I included some bullets that no one told me before I had my baby, and my husband suggested I post it here! Maybe it's because most of my pregnancy and baby-raising was during a pandemic where I couldn't see other people and get advice in person, but here's the advice I have to any soon-to-be or new parents out there :) -

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• It takes about 6 months before you’ll feel settled into your new routine. If you can, plan on not traveling anywhere (weddings, etc.) in those 6 months to save some sanity. Traveling with a baby (even hour long drives) is a nightmare. ETA: driving to the park or zoo is great! But if you’re expecting to go across the country for a trip, lower your expectations of what travel will look like.
• Our baby wanted to be held for every nap for 6 months. I thought something was wrong with her, but it’s shockingly common. Get AirPods and find a lot of podcasts/audiobooks to listen to.
• Music that you and baby will love: search Rockabye Baby on Spotify. They take songs by popular artists and turn them into instrumental lullabies. My family loves their rendition of Drop It Like It’s Hot by Snoop Dog lol.
• In the first few months, we’d put a heating pad on a timed low setting under the cribsheet and it was the only way our 4 lb baby would sleep. AAP recommended? No. But you need to get sleep to be a good parent, so some rules fall by the wayside. (ETA- since this is controversial I’ll add that it’s what the NICU did for weeks to get my daughter to sleep and I asked my pediatrician and she said she was fine with it. It was truly the only way my daughter would sleep anywhere other than our arms until we were able to get her weight up.) Figure out a plan when you're well rested because things like co-sleeping are best done with preparation.
• Get the Huckleberry app to track sleep and feedings so you’re not deliriously trying to convey information to your husband about when/how much last happened. They also give a pretty good prediction for when baby will need to be put down for a nap.
• Patting the baby’s butt will help calm her down. Not one of the 5 S’s for some reason, but we learned this at 4 months and it was a huge help!
• Breastfeeding can be stressful, and I worried about my supply for the first 4 months. I wasn’t able to build a solid stash until we sleep trained. The baby buddha pump with the freemie cups was the biggest game changer for me (annoyingly not covered by insurance). I’d down the body armour lyte drinks daily and drank so much water. For the first few months I had to use a nipple shield, too because my baby was so tiny and had issues latching. Honestly, I wish I had combo fed with formula, but I felt like there were few resources for that and all the breastfeeding support groups my hospital offered treated the word "formula" like it was dirty and convinced me introducing it would tank my supply 😒 .
• We slept trained at 5 months and just used . I don’t recommend paying for courses bc all the info can be summarized on that subreddit. I know there are a few camps of thought on sleep training, but our kid (and my husband and I) is much more well-rested now, and my husband and I have significantly lower stress levels.
• Feeding solids will be tough. I recommend giving baby her own set of utensils to distract her and shoving the purees in whenever her mouth is open.
• If you do baby led weaning, get the Solid Starts app to look up which foods should be cut what way by age (don’t pay for the meal plan thing.)
• You’ll watch a lot of netflix in the first few months. If you find yourself about to fall asleep while holding baby, turn on a true crime show bc you’ll stay awake from wanting to know who the murderer was.

I'm sure there are many more, so feel free to post them in the comments.

ETA: wow this post blew up a bit overnight 😅. I certainly don’t mean my advice as a “works for every kid” solution. You know your kid best, and if something worries you, check with your pediatrician! These are all just things I had to figure out on my own for my kid, and I hope some can be of value for you ❤️

Be ready to be flexible and know things change so quickly.

Got pumping and feeding down? Bam, power outage, how to store milk?

Got a sleep routine? Bam, 4,6,9,12 month sleep regressions. What worked at 8 weeks he hates at 12 months.

As a type A perfectionist this is maddening at first. You think you have something mastered and then NOPE !

People told me I have a new ruler of the house laughing about it, but really, I wish someone had explained, the rate of growth for humans exceeds the rate we can master raising these humans! And that is 100% OK!

Also, don’t be afraid to reorganize your house in any way that helps you. It doesn’t matter what other people think. Having a changing station in every room helped me. Turning my dining room into laundry sorting central with cute new baskets - perfect. It was only a few months. We eat at the table again 🤣

About to become a first time parent. I’m curious - what are some things you wish someone had told you before you became a parent? Not stuff like “sleep when the baby sleeps” but the practical things that you only learned after the fact.

For example, I didn’t know baby bottle nipples come in different sizes depending on babies age and needs. I’m not looking for lifestyle advice just straight up useful information things that made you think: How did I not know this?

Newborns do, in fact, sleep a lot, but they only want to sleep on you.

I did not realize that newborns who have no issue sleeping in a bassinet/crib/cot are the exception, not the rule.

I'll go first... practice eating with your non-dominant hand so that when the baby inevitably falls asleep on your dominant side you can still eat and not potentially wake them.

1. Make sure the Live feature is turned on for your photos. You will spend a lot of time taking pictures of a moving object. Always great to edit and find that awesome angle/smile

2. Sleep while the baby is sleeping

LOL sorry, I couldn’t resist …

● Learn what cluster feeding is and prepare for it. Comfortable chair, snacks, something to do or read. I didn't know about cluster feeding and it shook me 😅 

● White noise machine. Very helpful! 

● Keep spare sheets, blankets, onesie etc near sleeping area at night in case of a rogue nappy leak. 

● When transferring sleeping newborn from arms to bassinet/bed, place feet first, then bum, then head. Place hand firmly on their chest and count backwards from 100 before releasing.  

● Silver nipple caps if you are breastfeeding.  

● Learn how to swaddle. It really soothed my baby when he was small. 

● They sound like baby goats in their sleep. It is apparently normal.  

● Slide new nappy under their bum before taking dirty one off. It makes changing quicker and I do this particularly at night.  

● Change diaper before feeding at night. The change wakes them up enough to feed, and the feed puts them back to sleep. Lying baby down to change after a feed can result in some big spitups. 

● Consider CMPA and that you may need to cease consuming dairy. My boy had no blood in his stool but his digestion and mood suffer considerably when I eat dairy. He is a totally happy baby now that I've stopped. 

● When baby is inconsolable and you've elimated possible hunger/burp/nappy/tired, try a reset like stripping the babygrow, or skin to skin, or take them into some fresh air. 

● Research baby language and learn the different cries. "Neh" for hunger is so easily recognizable and can help reduce the guesswork. 

This is a lot of wisdom I've gleaned from users over the past three months. Wishing you all the best. It's not easy, but is such a joy 💗

Just an alternative POV here… Although I see the wisdom in this, and I agree to some extent, having a chaotic house has (and still is) wreaking havoc on my mental health.

(especially since I had to stay home all week with a sick, velcro baby)

Not everyone can live in chaotic environments. I thought I could (i’m not extremely orderly), but this was before feeling extremely fatigued and vulnerable postpartum.

Maybe a complimentary piece of advice here is to learn to delegate these tasks and ask for help.

I mean, sure the dishes will be there, but man is it annoying when you have none left, you’re alone and you can’t wash one because baby is screaming.

Having just survived the newborn trenches. Here are some things I wish I had done.

- Take short videos of your newborn, not just pictures.
- Take short audio recordings of your baby's sounds. Some of them are cute, some funny, some annoying, and many of them you will never hear again after this stage. I wish we had gotten a clip of our newborn's truffle pig noises. I miss her nighttime grumblings now that I’m less sleep deprived.
- Try to get pictures all together if you can, with all parent(s) plus baby. We have no village here, no one to take photos of us during tender family moments. I wish I had gotten a selfie stick or propped up our camera with a timer to capture moments. Most of our pictures are mom + baby or dad + baby because the other parent was the photographer.
- Hired a postpartum doula or house cleaner or mother's helper before baby arrived. (At the very least for the first two weeks postpartum while we learned to be parents.) We have no village and we were beyond overwhelmed with newborn, nursing problems, and me exclusively pumping.
- Don't immediately pick up baby just because they're making noises. Newborn babies have active sleep where they make a LOT of noise. By grabbing them you may unintentionally be waking them up, so check if they're asleep before picking up!
- Maybe obvious to others, but I overlooked getting a nursery light. I wish we had gotten a red or very dim lamp for checking on baby.
- If planning on breastfeeding, take a class before baby arrives.

Here are things I think we did right:

- We planned to exclusively breastfeed (nursing), but got a backup formula can and breast pump just in case. Many (not all) health insurance plans in the U.S. will cover part or all of the cost of a breast pump and supplies. Many lactation related products are FSA/HSA eligible. We had problems with baby's latching and milk transfer so we had to supplement formula. I had to pump to build up supply at the beginning and supplement formula to meet baby's needs.
- We got a variety of baby bottles before baby arrived so we could figure out what worked best for her. Make sure you're getting slow flow nipples to start with.
- Any tasks or projects that would be time-consuming or require you to leave the house, do before baby arrives. For example, we decided to get a new bedframe with under-bed storage drawers. It took time to shop around, order and then build the furniture. The newly added storage also helped us stay organized.
- We did heavy decluttering and donated a bunch before baby's arrival. Baby and baby's things will take up more space than you think!
- Saw a lactation consultant early. We saw an LC in hospital the day after baby's birth. They taught us breastfeeding skills. We scheduled to see LC again when baby was one month old to reassess feeding skills. Even if you're not breastfeeding, LC's are feeding specialists that can check baby's milk transfer skills at the bottle, and make recommendations catered for you.
- I got baby footprint ink kits early. We took impressions of baby's handprints and footprints from the very beginning, and it's very satisfying to see the progress of growth in our family scrapbook.
- Bought "just in case" items through Target baby registry for the one year return policy. We left the "just in case" items unopened in packaging until we needed it. Because you know when you're in the trenches, ain't nobody got time to go out shopping or wait for an online purchase to deliver or make returns. The longer return period would allow us to return things when things were less hectic at home. We planned to exclusively breastfeed which didn't work out but we had bottles and the bottle washer ready for immediate use. Postpartum care items--you might plan for vaginal delivery or C-section but sometimes plans don't go your way. Postpartum products are different for the two.

Any other parents want to chime in?

Any newborn care tricks for first time parents? While all advice is welcome, I’m looking more for the type of advice like “the diaper ruffles go out, not in” and not so much “ask for help, focus on self care, communicate with your partner” etc. Searching for newborn advice, I see a lot of the latter, and I’m looking more for objective “hack” like tips and tricks.

Thanks! 😄

Everything is a phase.

Cluster feeding? A phase.

Contact napping? Phase.

Potato-mode? Too short of a phase.

The hard times begin to pass, and soon, your newborn starts to grow into a tiny person who will climb into your lap, find ways to make you laugh, and project bodily fluids into your face – and you won’t mind. It’s pretty great.

Try not to pay too much attention to weird newborn breathing sounds. They just breathe weirdly and it often sounds terrible, but they are fine.

The shoulders of their bodysuits are usually wide enough to take off downwards (over their body rather than over the head), so you're not risking rubbing poop in their face after an explosion

Buy leggings with pockets so you can place your cell phone within reach.

The first 6 weeks were the hardest weeks of my life. It almost broke me. Best advice I got from my OB:

If the baby blues continue after 2 weeks or are intensifying over that period, get evaluated for PPD/PPA. Mine presented as rage and I had no idea it was a thing. Your mental health matters and prioritizing it is so important.

call. the. pediatrician. If you are having any doubts about the health of your child, do not post in a Facebook mom group. do not go to Users. do not Google. call your pediatrician. if you don’t trust your ped, get a new one. don’t be afraid to be “that parent” who calls for every little thing. they went to school for this. they knew what they were getting into when they chose peds. call your pediatrician.

I wanted to start a post that might be able to give a new parent some handy tips as they enter parenthood! There are so many things I do with my second girl that I think "Oh I wish I knew that when I had my first!"

Here's a couple to kick us off!

*Whenever my newborns had a grey blue shade of skin under their top lip, they would need winding!

*Some babygrows have shoulders that overlap, that's so you can pull them down over the shoulders rather than undoing them between the legs, helping massively if they have a poosplosion! You don't have to take all that poo over their heads!

Let's share the best kept secrets 😍😊

Leave your house as soon as you can when you’re postpartum. I swear to god, getting out of the house has saved my mental health.

Do things with your partner that you did post-baby and just bring the baby (it’s more planning but nice to have your normalcy).

If there are services that are offered or people offering to help you—TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT!!!

If you’re financially stable, consider any money you spend on your baby a sunk cost and move on or if you can, return items. You’re going to have misses.

If possible, let your partner get your baby to sleep at night (in another room) and fall asleep first before the baby is brought into the room. For me, it keeps me from worrying about whether or not my baby is breathing and I get more restful sleep.

Buy more nipples than bottles.

Prioritize your rest, personal hygiene, and nutrition. You cannot be a present parent if you are not filling your own cup. An empty cup cannot runneth over with joy. Put the baby down and shower + have a snack.

Breastfeeding doesn’t have to be all or nothing. You can give your baby little snacks and do mostly formula. I supplement with breastmilk/nursing and all meals are mostly formula.

Put poop diapers in dog poop bags before tossing them. Your diaper pail stinks because you don’t wrap up your poop diapers. Also—buy the ubbi adult diaper pail if you’re going the ubbi route. A much better product.

I’m a new mama this year and my baby’s 5 months old so I’m talkin first year, what is A) the best piece of parenting advice you’ve heard? And B) your top tip or hack or little trick to make life a bit easier or be more prepared?

The best tip someone gave me was to get a bassinet with wheels. I did and it's been SO convenient. I'm very lucky that my baby doesn't need silence to sleep so I can wheel his bassinet around and have him in whatever room of the house I'm in if he's asleep and I want to keep an eye on him. I can also have it in the lounge with me to transfer straight into it if he falls asleep on me, so I don't have to carry him through the house into the bedroom and maybe wake him up.

It was also great for me and my husband both getting sleep in the early weeks. I would go to bed around 8pm and husband would have the baby in his bassinet out in the lounge and deal with any feedings/nappy changes, then wheel him into the bedroom when he came to bed around 2am. Then when baby woke up around 4am I would wheel him in his bassinet back out into the lounge, feed and change him, then go back to sleep on the couch and deal with any more wake ups until my husband woke up around 10am. So we're not both awake trying to get the baby back to sleep and being woken up every two hours with a bassinet that needs to stay in the bedroom. Thanks to that thing we've both been getting at least 7 - 8 hours uninterrupted sleep a night since the day we brought him home 4 months ago and I always tell expecting parents to buy a wheeled bassinet.